So I Decided To Give Myself A Reason
by YourTragedyx3
Summary: Naley AU. The girl who held his heart, and always would. The girl that made his heart ache, because of the friendship they shared, that he cherished too much to disturb. The girl he loved with everything in him. Haley James. His Haley.
1. Nineteen Stars

**  
I know, I suck. I haven't been able to update my other stories because my computer broke. So now I can finally get back to updating those stories. As for this one, I got inspired and wrote it today. So I really hope you enjoy it. **

**A/N: Story title is _So I Decided To Give Myself A Reason - I Can Make A Mess Like Nobody's Business _**

** The song in the story is Nineteen Stars by Meg & Dia**

**Disclaimer - I do not own One Tree Hill blah blah blah..**

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**So I Decided To Give Myself a Reason **

**1. Nineteen Stars  
**

She sat in her room, on a cold winter day. Her fingers strummed across the strings, eliciting a sweet sound from the guitar she lightly gripped in her hands. Her mind wondered to a certain blue - eyed boy. She always thought of him when she played. As she skillfully and gracefully played a familiar tune, her angelic voice sang the words that had been long ago memorized in her mind.

_Don't tell me you're done for. Don't need to hear you're done for.  
But you can tell me what you are running from.  
I need you more than you need you. I can see you're really, really running.  
Can I ask you where you gonna run to? And you think you're really, really funny.  
Well I don't think your funny as you do._

_We all feel like we're breaking sometime  
But I won't give you up tonight._

_Stay awake, stay awake – survive.  
I've got nineteen stars that I give your name tonight.  
And I wanna scream, wanna scream your name.  
Starlight, star bright can save. You're my wish tonight._

_Don't tell me it doesn't matter. I'll tell you what matters.  
Bare feet in the summer, open windows at night.  
You think that no one needs you.  
You don't have nothing to see through  
Well I needed you. Don't I count?_

_Lets fight._

_Show me anger, fierce fists clutching onto air.  
Show me anything, just show me you care._

_Stay awake, stay awake - survive.  
I've got nineteen stars that I give your name tonight.  
I wanna scream, wanna scream your name.  
Starlight, star bright can save. You're my wish tonight._

_No one can catch me the way that you catch me,  
The way that you keep me when I'm out of sight.  
What if I need you? What if I can't see you?  
I'm running out of life.  
_

_No one can catch me the way that you catch me.  
The way that you keep me when I'm out of time.  
What if I need you? What if I can't see you?  
I'm running out of life._

_Please, stay awake, stay awake – survive.  
I've got nineteen stars that I, give your name tonight.  
And I wanna scream, wanna scream your name.  
Starlight, star bright can save.  
You're my wish, you're my wish, my wish._

_You're my wish tonight._

A small smile crept onto her face as she finished the last bit of her song. Much to her surprise, a soft clapping came from her doorway. She didn't even have to turn around to know who it was.

"Ohh my God! I'm your biggest fan!" Nathan cooed from the doorway. "I love you sooo much! Please sign my chest!" He proceeded to lift up his shirt, exposing his toned chest and rock solid abs. She had to keep herself from drooling at the site. In all of the years she's known Nathan, his body still amazed her.

"Ohh quit it Nathan." She replied, swatting at his arm while lying down next to him on her bed.

"You know I love your music...especially that song." He told her honestly, becoming very serious. She laid there staring into his captivating cobalt eyes while he tucked some of her hair behind her ear. Her eyes fluttered closed at the contact of his rough hands on her face. "I know, Nathan." His touch always seemed to calm her, which always made her heart ache.

At that moment if anyone were to have walked in, they would immediately assume that they were a couple. But this type of affection between the two was just an every day occurrence. They had been best friends ever since they could remember. Their parents were best friends in high school and college, because getting high, while decked out in bell-bottoms with other hippies seems to form quite the strong bond. The two couples grew, and were forced to mature, once they started to raise their families. As fate would have it, Nathan and her were born exactly one hour apart. Their parents took it as the sign that the two were destined lovers. The two grew up not only sharing their birthdays, but everything together. They were undeniably inseparable, even through the 'cootie' stages. Once they hit their teen years, their mothers wouldn't stop teasing them about being together. They always got tired of explaining. "Mom, cut it out. We're just friends." or "Eww. How about no, Mom. Nate's like my brother." were the main excuses they used.

Not only did they have to defend their platonic relationship to their parents, but also their friends were set on proving to them that they were meant to be.

She opened her eyes to find Nathan staring at her. **_Ohh no. _**Something was wrong. His eyes turned a light grey color, which was never a good sign. The last time she had ever saw his eyes look that sad was...well she just hoped it wasn't that bad this time. She brought his hand up to her mouth, and kissed his knuckles sweetly.

"Talk to me, Nathan." She spoke softly.

"It's back…" he muttered quietly.

"Huh? What's back?" She asked, concern laced in her voice.

"The cancer." Nathan sadly revealed.

All she could do was pull Nathan to her, her fingers gliding their way over his scalp, through his jet black hair in a comforting way. She couldn't believe it.

Nathan's father, Dan, had been diagnosed with cancer a few years back. The news almost ripped apart his family. It was a tough few years, but she had stuck by Nathan through it all. Nathan's half-brother, Lucas took the news hard too. He was her other best friend. Of course their relationship couldn't compare to Nathan and hers, but they were extremely close. So she did everything she could to be there for them. Dan fought his way through the cancer, and just when they thought it was gone completely, it was back. The small blonde held Nathan to her, rubbing her hand over his back and shoulders, trying her hardest to absorb some of his pain. She would do anything for him, and if it meant bearing some of his hurt and pain herself, then she would do it instantly.

She pulled away and looked into his tear-filled eyes. The agony and torture she found there was enough to make her heart break, and brought tears to her own eyes. She softly ran her hand through his hair one more time, and laid a soft but sweet kiss on his forehead. When she pulled back she saw the recognizable questioning look in his eyes. A question she's been met with so many times before in the last few years of their lives. All she did was nod, as she laid her hand on his handsome face, and gently stroked her thumb under his eye, wiping away a stray tear.

Slowly, she got up to shut the door and turn off the lights, while Nathan took off his shoes and jacket and crawled underneath the covers of her bed. Going over to her stereo, she turned on some of her favorite music and then joined Nathan in bed. She curled up next to him, as he wrapped his arm around her waist she softly sang the words to the song in his ear, knowing exactly what calmed him. Nathan loved sleeping with her in his arms. That was the only time he ever got a good nights sleep. With basketball, and school, and his problems with his family, the only time he was ever at peace, was when he was with her. The girl who occupied his dreams, when he was asleep and when he was awake. The same girl who held his heart, and always would. The girl that made his heart ache, because of the friendship they shared, that he cherished too much to disturb. The girl he loved with everything in him. Haley James. His Haley.

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**So what do you think? Reviews are very appreciated.**


	2. Lying Here With You

**So you guys seem to like the story so far. So I decided to give you a little... 'Naley sexual tension'. This chapter also sort of goes into detail about their feelings for each other. But anyways, I really hope you enjoy.**

**Song: Sarah Blasko - Perfect Now **

**Disclaimer: I own nothin...still. **

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**So I Decided To Give Myself A Reason **

**2. Lying Here With You **

As Haley stirred from her previous state of slumber, she was surprised to feel warm breath on her neck, and a hand rubbing soft shapes on the small of her back. She was startled at first, not knowing why someone would be in her bed with her, but then she relaxed, realizing it was just Nathan. A lazy grin spread its way across her face as she began to drift slowly back to sleep with the rhythm of Nathan's gentle caresses. She was almost asleep, until she recalled the events of the previous night.

Carefully, so as not to wake Nathan, Haley propped herself up on her elbow to stare at her handsome childhood friend. One of her favorite songs came on the stereo she had left on, and she couldn't help but smile at the lyrics. They were so fitting for this moment.

_Everything is perfect now._

_I don't want to make a movement._

_I'm too scared to breathe, I might do something wrong._

_As you're sleeping silently,_

_Perfect beauty laid before me._

_I feel every second is a life-time long._

He looked absolutely peaceful, at least for awhile. Every now and then his face would contort and scrunch up. He couldn't even escape his harsh reality in his dreams.

Haley slowly lifted her hand and tenderly smoothed out the lines that marred his gorgeous features, with the pad of her thumb. Nathan shifted a little, causing his hand to slide up the back of Haley's shirt, making a quiet gasp escape her mouth.

"Ohh, goodness."

'If a place like heaven actually existed, it definitely involved me waking up in this boy's arms.' Haley thought to herself, her smile growing even wider. But as quickly as her smile appeared, it was gone – just as soon as her alarm clock started blaring. As fast as she could, Haley reached over Nathan and forcefully smacked her alarm clock. Unfortunately she wasn't quick enough.

"Uhhhh..Nooo" Nathan groaned as he rolled over onto Haley, snuggling his head in the crook of her neck while pushing his body as close to hers as he could. All Haley could do was giggle, and pretend that she didn't feel a surge of electricity every time he touched her.

"Naaaatey, Nate?" Haley whispered, receiving a grunt in response.

"Babe, we need to get up and get ready for school…" she replied giggling a little bit, while rubbing her hand up and down the length of Nathan's back.

"Nuh-huh." Was the feedback she got from Nathan as he shook his head back and forth, tickling her neck.

"Ohh, alright. I'm going to go take a shower, you can sleep a little more." She said while trying to remove Nathan from her. Not that she actually wanted to…but she was Haley James. And Haley James was never late for school.

_Here's a place I've been before._

_A place some say I should go more._

_But every journey just leads me so far away._

_When I just wanted to stay._

Haley stepped into her bathroom and began taking off her clothes. She was currently trying to figure out what she was going to do with Nathan's situation. The sad reality was that there was absolutely nothing she could do, but be there for him. So that's what she was going to do. Something about this time though, made her heart sink in her chest. She had a really bad feeling about this new knowledge of Dan's cancer returning. She didn't want to say it, or think it for that matter, because then the possibility of it happening became more real. But in her gut, she knew that this wouldn't end good. She quickly wiped at the tears that spilled down her cheeks. She had to stay strong, for Nathan's sake. So after taking a deep breath, she hopped into the steaming shower, wishing the water would wash away all of their problems.

**_- - - - - - -_**

Haley came out of the bathroom wrapped in just a towel, her hair in wet tresses, and absolutely no make-up on, but she couldn't have been any more beautiful in that moment. Nathan was halfway done buttoning up his black shirt when he noticed her, and it took everything in him not to jump her right then and there. 

"Well it's about time you woke up…" she said, flashing him a smile that made him love her even more.

Her smile. Nathan's favorite part of Haley was her smile. He could be in the worst possible mood, and I mean the worst. Like "just failed that history quiz over the French Revolution and had to do a billion suicides during morning practice" type of mood. But even after all of that, she could flash him that smile, the one she reserved just for him, and he could forget about the running and the French…whatever. Because all that ever really matters is Haley.

"Hah. Yeah, I figured I probably should…" he replied, while trying to roll his sleeves up, doing just about anything to keep from having to gaze at her in that tiny little towel. Haley nodded, and walked over to her dresser and managed to pull on her panties and jeans without having to take off her towel.

Nathan hadn't realized this yet, because he was trying to get his sleeves to look nice. But when he finally did glance up, Haley was standing with her back towards him, in nothing but low-rise jeans. He couldn't for the life of him, take his eyes off her. They roamed up her short but lean legs up to her perfectly round bottom, and even further up to her bare, tan back that was speckled with clear water drops from her still damp hair. His mouth went dry and it took every ounce in him not to spin her around and kiss her. In his blinding lustful state he didn't even notice her slip on a bra, and a dark colored turtle-neck over her petite frame.

Once she turned around she was met with his eyes locked on hers. She had never ever worried about dressing in front of Nathan. She was like his "little sister, his buddy, his pal…"

'Good God. Whoever created those words should be tossed from a tall cliff...violent much? Yes, very.' Haley thought to herself. What she felt for him was definitely not…brotherly. Wishing they were more was like fighting a losing battle…she would never get the turn out she wanted. She would just end up best-friend-less. Having Nathan in her life was like breathing. It was essential, and her life depended on him. Without him, she was nothing. He was her everything…even if he would never know that.

"I...uhh…I just need to put some make up on and we can head out." She stumbled over her words, as she sat down at her vanity to put on the small amount of make-up she actually wore.

"Hales, you're beautiful. You definitely don't need makeup." Nathan said falling back onto her bed, and watching the blush spread across her face through the mirror.

Nathan was always giving her compliments like that, or saying extremely charming comments. It always made her feel special.

"Thanks Nate." Haley said, still blushing furiously.

"Alright…I'm done. Let's head out." Haley said a few minutes later, slinging her book bag over her shoulder, and grabbing her gym bag full of her cheerleading stuff. Haley walked over to where Nathan was lying on her bed, and stuck out her hand. He lazily took and laughed as she tried to pull him off the bed. Once he was finally vertical, they made there way out of the house, not bothering to let go of each other's hands.

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**I really hope you guys like it. I'll keep updating fast if you guys review, and enjoy the story.**


	3. I'd Go Anywhere With You

**You guys rock! Your reviews are amazing. I loooove you all. Anywho, here's the next chapter. Hope you like.**

******Disclamer - Ya'll already know I own nuffin.**

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**********So I Decided To Give Myself a Reason**

**************3. I'd Go Anywhere With You **

It was fourth period English, Haley's favorite class by far. Not because she was incredibly intelligent, no, it had more to do with who was in the class. All of her closest friends, minus Jake were in her lunch period, which she was extremely thankful for. Peyton and Brooke were seated on her right, and Bevin on her left. Nathan, Lucas, Skills, and Tim all sat behind the girls. Only after threatening the stoners who originally had the seats, of course.

"So Haley, I saw you and Hot Shot come to school together, looking pretty exhausted." Brooke whispered and winked, as Bevin and Peyton all leaned in to hear.

"Ohh please Brooke, don't start." Haley said, rolling her eyes at Brooke. For as long as she could remember, Brooke was always scheming evil ways to get Nathan and herself to 'to take advantage of their HOT chemistry' as she so subtly put it. Brooke once locked the two in a closet, threatening to not let them out until they got a little frisky. Haley had never blushed so much in her life.

"Hey, you can't blame me. I mean come on, it must be a crime to be 'just friends' with that." Brooke said in her sexy, husky voice, while motioning toward Nathan with her skinny manicured finger. Haley quickly grabbed Brooke's finger and yanked it down, giggling a little bit.

She didn't want to be 'just friends' with Nathan. But they shared something that she didn't want to destroy with sex or a relationship. Hell, he only saw her in a sisterly way… so sex was definitely out of the question. It was strange though, because even before she started having feelings for Nathan, she always saw her first time being with him.

"C'mon Hales, if 'it' didn't happen, then what did?" Peyton questioned, kinking up one of her neatly shaped eyebrows. They all leaned in closer, if that was at all possible.

Haley looked down at her hands. She didn't think it was her place to tell them. They should hear it from Nathan. But if she didn't tell them, they would assume something else happened.

Haley exhaled, her hands were now shaking in her lap. "It's Dan…his cancer is back." She finally looked up after a few seconds to meet their sad eyes. The only response from any of them, was a hoarse whisper of "Oh my God." from Bevin, while Brooke clapped her hand over her mouth and Peyton shook her head sadly. Haley quickly looked behind then to make sure none of the boys heard her divulging such information to the girls.

They were rolling up pieces of paper and throwing them into Tim's arms, their own make shift basketball goal. Everyone was laughing but Nathan, he just sat back and smiled, a sad one that didn't reach his eyes. Seeing him like this broke Haley's heart. He didn't deserve to feel this way.

Haley turned back around. "You guys can't say anything to Nate or the rest of the guys…if, if he wants to tell you, just let him do it on his own." The three nodded sadly, as Brooke took hold of one of Haley's hands and gave it a squeeze.

"I…I'm so sorry Haley. I know Dan's been like a second father to you." Brooke whispered to her softly. All Haley could do was nod slowly, trying her hardest to keep the tears from spilling down her cheeks.

Dan was like her surrogate father. He was just as close as anyone else in her family. Him and Deb, were like her second set of parents. As far back as she could remember, they had always been in her life, along with Karen and Keith…all of them an important part of her family.

Conversation died down as everyone faced the front of the classroom, as the teacher walked in.

Through out the rest of the class Haley would turn to check up on Nathan. He just sat there, staring down at his desk. He looked like he was in a trance. His fore arms were lying on the desk, and he was fiddling with his class ring, as his gaze continued to burn holes in the desk. When he finally looked up, his eyes locked on a pair of copper brown ones. Neither moved nor looked away, until the sound of the lunch bell drowned out the monotonous lecture the teacher was giving.

Everyone filed out of the classroom and headed for the cafeteria. Haley slowly got up and walked to Nathan's desk, extending her hand. He looked at her small awaiting hand, and smiled softly while taking it. He stood up slowly, and kissed Haley's temple, a simple thanks. They walked out of the room, with their fingers laced. She wasn't just holding his hand, but she was holding his heart like she had all along. Her presence was the only thing keeping it from shattering completely.

**_- - - - - - -_**

They walked to the cafeteria together in a comfortable silence. Standing in the entryway, looking out at all of the hustle and bustle that consumed their fellow classmates as they ate.

"Nate! Hales! Over here!" They turned in the direction of the shouts to see Lucas waving them towards their regular table like a lunatic. Laughing at his loud display they began making their way around all of the crowded tables. Noticing Peyton and Brooke standing near the line to get their food, Haley gave Nathan's hand a gentle tug, causing him to stop and turn to her.

"I'm going to go talk to the girls," she nodded in their direction. "save me a seat?"

"Of course." Nathan responded, bringing her hand up to his lips and kissing it, before giving her one last smile and walking over to join they guys.

Moments like that made Haley's heart race, an extraordinary feeling that she never got tired of. Nathan had always been affectionate with her. He wasn't touchy-feely, or trying to cop random feels of her. He was gentle and loving…in a best friend sort of way. The thought made her groan. Innocent? Yes. But that didn't keep her from getting weak in the knees every time it happened. A kiss on the cheek, holding hands, warm hugs, early morning cuddling…

"Hey! Tutor girl! Snap out of it!"

Haley shook the thoughts from her head as she finally noticed Peyton and Brooke standing in front of her, with a smirking Peyton snapping her fingers, trying to get her attention.

"Ehh...sorry guys. I, uh, must have spaced out." She tried to cover up, feeling her cheeks get hot as a crimson blush spread over her face.

Brooke smirked knowingly. "I've seen that look before. That's the 'getting-caught-after-having-a-dirty-fantasy' look. I get'em all the time." Brooke said shrugging, ignoring the confused looked received from Haley and the chuckle she heard coming from Peyton.

"Uhh…care to explain, Brookie?" Peyton quirked, tossing her arm over Brooke's shoulders.

Haley tuned out on Brooke's explanation and let her mind wander back to Nathan. He looked so out of it earlier. Knowing him, he's letting the news eat him up inside. She had a feeling that Nathan knew this time was bad, that it wouldn't end like they all hope it would. She could see it written in his features, and the way his shoulders slumped. She was worried that he'd resort to old habits. When Dan was first diagnosed, Nathan was completely hammered for a day and a half before Luke and Haley found him at their beach house, passed out in the sand. Once they finally got him sobered up, he got angry and violent. Not towards them of course, but towards two picture frames, a vase, and four pieces of his moms china.

Haley needed to find away to occupy him, to keep him from stewing in his own pain and potentially hurting himself. She was brainstorming ways to do so when she heard Peyton mention Tric.

"That's it!" She blurted out excitedly, receiving two very confused looks from the girls in front of her.

"Oookay, crazy. What's _it_?" Peyton questioned, slightly amused by her sudden out burst.

"I was thinking of ways to keep Nathan occupied, and I like what you just said…" Haley attempted to clarify.

"Uh…Brooke getting fondled by some old guy at Tric?" Peyton asked, more than just a little confused.

"Yes! Wait…what? Eww. No. Definitely not. I meant Tric." Haley said frantically, waving her hands and shuddering at the thought.

"Oh, okay good. You had me worried there for a second, Hales." Brooke spoke, patting Haley on the cheek.

"Quit it," Swiping at Brooke's hand, Haley blew out. "Anyways, I think we should all go to Tric tonight. You know, like our whole group. Have a good time, dance, party it up. Anything to keep Nathan's mind off of Dan."

Both Brooke and Peyton nodded their heads in agreement. "That sounds perfect, Haley."

They made their way over to their normal table, where Nathan sure enough, saved Haley a seat right next to him.

"Hey guys, we have to ask you about something," Haley said, while placing her hand on Nathan's shoulder for stability as she climbed over the bench. When his large warm hand came in contact with the skin between her sweater and jeans, she completely forgot what she was talking about.

"And…" Lucas spoke up first.

"Ohh, uh, I was thinking that we could all go to Tric tonight." Haley suggested.

"Hells yeah, all the ladies are gonna be competing for some TIM TIME!" Tim shouted, popping the color on his jacket and eliciting a groan from the whole group.

"Ugh, please Tim. Somebody should get you neutered." Brooke spat, tossing one of her fries at his face.

"Well I'm game." Jake said, wrapping his arms around Peyton.

After receiving a few more 'me too', 'sounds good', and a 'lets get shit faced" from Tim, Haley turned to Nathan.

"What about you?" Haley questioned in an almost whisper. _Who could say no to those big brown eyes of hers? _Nathan thought_. She could get away with murder, if she wanted to. God she's beautiful. I'm not even sure why she's asking. She already knows I'd follow her to the ends of the earth, just to make her happy._

"I'd go anywhere with you." With that simple answer, Haley fell in love with him all over again.

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**A/N - Blah. I'm really horrible when it comes to formating my stories because I'm usually in a rush. Anyways, that authors note chapter was only there until I had time to change things. Anyways. It's all fixed now. **

**************Eh? REVIEW please!**


	4. Too Close For Comfort

**Since you guys are such fabulous reviewers, I made this an extra long chapter. Please, please hold the applause. HA! I'm sucha dork. Anyways, enjoy. I worked hard. It's now 4:14 a.m. and I've been working on this for a few hours. So like it, or I wasted a night of sleep for nothing. **

**A/N: Flashbacks and peoples thoughts are in italics **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Besides a very healthy obsession with James Lafferty. **

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**So I Decided To Give Myself A Reason **

**4. Too Close For Comfort **

"HALEY BEATRICE MAURICE KATHLEEN JAMES!"

Haley swiftly dodged the barrage of shoes that were angrily being thrown at her face by none other than a very irritated Brooke Davis. _Ha! All those years of gymnastics weren't for nothing!_

"…What the hell? Brooke, none of those are my middle name." Haley spoke, a tad bit amused by her friends antics.

"Argh! I know, but if you weren't so, so, STUBBORN we wouldn't be in this situation, for the BAZILLIONTH time!" Brooke shouted, beyond angry at this point. Haley James was headstrong_. Ha! Please. Headstrong? No. Impossible, annoyingly determined, extremely irritating? Uhh, yes. All of the above. The girl could definitely use a nice kick in the ass on occasion. Or, a closet full of shoes aimed at her head. _

"Bazillionth? One - quit exaggerating, Brooke. Two - I'm pretty sure there is no such number as 'bazillion'. Oh, and just because I've turned down all of your futile attempts to slutify me, doesn't qualify me as stubborn." Haley returned, holding up one of the barely-there tops Brooke tried, in vain, to get Haley to wear. This was definitely not an unusual argument between the two. It happened before every single get together or outing they attended.

The rest of the school day had gone by relatively smoothly, until practice that is.

Haley managed to keep 'broody' Nathan from becoming too…well, broody. Unfortunately after school, Nathan couldn't seem to hold the pain in anymore. He somehow managed to get into a dispute with a teammate. Thankfully before any punches were thrown, he stormed off the court. Haley had seen the entire exchange and left mid-cheer to go check on him. With Brooke being the captain, Haley didn't think twice about going after Nathan. Lucas followed shortly after. Haley told him to stay, that she could handle it. Lucas nodded knowingly; she has been the only one who ever could get through to Nathan. After scanning a few hallways, she finally found him leaning against some lockers, his arms resting on his knees, with his head hung low. She knew at this point, no words would comfort him; they would just bounce off his aggravation and do nothing to soothe him. So Haley slid down next to him, and rested her head on his slumped shoulder.

It was after practice now; the girls and boys had gone their separate ways to get ready for the evening. Almost immediately after arriving at the Davis residence, Brooke went into Barbie-Nazi mode and tried to take over anything and everything to do with Haley's appearance. Her hair was either too plain, or her shoes were too 'librianish', or her clothes too conservative. Haley was too stunned to say anything at that point. Brooke Davis used the word conservative, and actually knew what it meant.

To be honest, Haley had very good style. She was far from plain looking, and she definitely didn't lack style. _Hell, she reeked style! Ew, that sounds incredibly gross_. She was pretty sure Brooke knew that too, but she seemed so pleased when she got a chance to 'sexify' Haley. _Yes, those are her very words._ A certain gleam appeared in her eyes and she became even more cheery, if that were at all possible. Brooke had even tried to work her makeover charm on Peyton. But her attempts were less than successful. She stopped trying after getting a very loving 'fuck off' and the middle finger stuck in her face. Peyton was definitely a trooper. Haley on the other hand, wasn't so bold and this seemed to make Brooke happy, so if it meant being Brooke's own My Size Barbie, then so be it. She could do whatever, as long as Haley didn't end up looking like a 5$ hooker.

Peyton usually sat back and watched the heated argument take place. Her eyes darting back and forth trying to keep up with the bitchy comments, like a spectator at a tennis match. She would laugh, and throw in a few witty jabs of her own only to receive glares from the other two girls, making her chuckle even more. But once objects started flying, like magazines, hangers, tubes of lip-gloss, but in this case - shoes, she would exit before getting injured in the crossfire.

"Fine! Fine Brooke! If it'll shut you up, then go ahead. Start the slutification, I mean the sexification." Haley breathed out, finally giving in. Brooke clapped her hands together excitedly. But I'm warning you, I better look 'sophisticated sexy' not 'working-the-street-corner' look that you try and force on me."

"Ohh, and I'm sure as hell not wearing this." Haley informed, holding up a top that resembled a string with a few buttons on it.

"Done! Whatever you want, Haley. When I'm done with you, you'll look more like Tutorfox, than Tutorgirl." Brooke giggled at her own cleverness.

Haley nervously bit her lip._ What have I gotten myself into?_

**_- - - - - - -_**

"Maroon or navy?"

"Lucas, for the last time, I do not give a damn. I'm not going to help you pick out your clothes…only chicks do that." Nathan responded to a frustrated looking Lucas who was holding up two different shirts.

Nathan let out a long sigh. He was already showered and ready, wearing a black pinstriped button up shirt, sleeves rolled up, with a pair of jeans. His hair was a little messy, but not overly styled. Haley said she loved when he wore his hair like that. He had the top few buttons of his shirt undone, showing a small glimpse of the chain Haley got him for his 15th birthday. It had the number 23 on it - his number. Having nothing better to do, he went into Luke's room to try and keep himself entertained until they left. To be honest, Nathan didn't want to go out tonight. He'd much rather stay in, watch a game on TV with the guys or just hang out with Haley like usual. But when she asked him to go to Tric tonight, there was a sense of desperation in the question. The concern that seemed to be permanently fixated in her beautiful brown eyes since the day before was present and clear. She was doing this for him, he understood that. And he definitely didn't have the power to ever say no to Haley. If it were anyone else, they'd receive a big fat 'hell no.' So here he was, waiting for his asshat of a brother to hurry up and get dressed so this night would be a little closer to being over with.

"Ass," Lucas muttered. "Brooke says I look sexy in blue. It makes my eyes look more 'fierce' or, something." Lucas finished, holding the dark blue shirt up in front of him as he stood before the mirror.

"Holy shit. It's official. Lucas Eugene Scott you have finally lost your goddamn mind. I thought I had a brother, not a sister." Nathan marveled at Lucas's sudden…gay-ness.

"Whoa, I can not believe you just said that."

"What? Calling you my sister? I'm surprised you're not putting on lipstick and curling your hair right now…"

"I meant using my middle name, you prick."

"Eugene, Eugene, Eugene."

"You're such a child."

"Do not start with me Lucas, I am only three months younger."

"Yeah, well that doesn't stop you from acting like a toddler."

"Asshole."

"Dick."

"Fag."

"Fucker."

"Bitch."

"Shithe - wait, did you just call me a bitch?"

"Yes. It seemed to fit, with you acting like a chick and all."

"Ladies, ladies. Quit your bitching, please." Jake said entering Lucas's room, Tim following close behind.

"What are you guys even fighting about now?" Tim probed curiously.

"Lucas' sudden growth of a vagina."

"Nathan's assy-self."

"Luke, I'm sure Haley wouldn't mind letting you borrow one of her bras."

"Enough!" Jake finally shouted, tired of the pointless verbal battle taking place.

"So Nate, what happened to you at practice dawg. You seemed out of it." Tim questioned, being his normal nosy self.

Nathan's mind drifted back to practice. He had fought hard to keep his mind off Dan's situation, but the nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach made that nearly impossible.

_Nathan didn't have to look up, he knew it was her. He saw that same concern that captured her chocolate brown eyes when he barged out of the gym. He could hear her soft footsteps as she cautiously roamed the halls looking for him. And he could smell her sweet scent before she even sat down. He could feel the warmth and comfort that radiated from her body. Haley was always warm and caring and loving. She didn't say anything, and she didn't really have to. He felt so much better, just having her there. She softly laid her head on his shoulder and slowly drew lazy circles on his arm. They sat that way until practice was over_.

Nathan could feel it though. The truth of it all laid thick in the air, and he tried not to breathe it in. A little voice in the back of his mind kept saying that this was it. That he wouldn't beat the cancer this time. And with each passing day Nathan believed that voice more and more, and the ache in his heart grew more agonizing. The helpless feeling of it all was raining down around him, slowly rising in level and there was nothing he could do about it. Lucas felt it too, though he didn't say it, the sadness in his eyes practically screamed it. This added to Nathan's fear. Lucas was usually so optimistic, but the confidence he had last time, seemed to dissipate.

Nathan glanced at Lucas. They hadn't really told anyone about Dan, besides Haley and Brooke, and soon enough Peyton would know if she didn't already. Nathan looked back to Jake and Tim, two of his best friends. Nathan remembered back to when Dan was first diagnosed. Jake, being the nice guy he is, was there for Nathan and Luke. He offered to talk whenever, or hang out and play basketball - whatever they needed. Nathan took up his offer more then a few times. And Tim…well he offered to get trashed with Nathan and Luke, which resulted in the girls smacking him upside the head a few times.

"It's Dan…his cancer is back."

**_- - - - - - -_**

After four different outfits, six different hairstyles, and Brooke smacking Peyton with a hairbrush, the girls were finally ready. They opted for a more sophisticated sexy tonight, which Haley was thankful for. Peyton donned a short ruby colored baby-doll dress that showed off her long lean legs, her hair in bouncy blonde curls. Brooke had decided on a turquoise satin halter dress that hugged her curves in all the right ways, with her hair down and straight. Haley wore a simple black strapless dress. It was made of a lacy material, besides the large strip of black satin that came around the front of the dress, and tied in the back. Her dirty blonde hair cascaded down around her shoulders in loose curls. After much fuss about her makeup, she finally relented and let Brooke do the 'smoky-eye' effect on her. She had to admit that it made her look somewhat mysterious but sexy nonetheless.

"I'm not going to lie, we look pretty damn gorgeous." Peyton admitted as the three girls stood in front of Brooke's floor to ceiling mirror.

"You got that right, P. Sawyer." Brooke agreed, doing a spin. "The boys wont be able to keep their hands off of us…not that I'm complaining." She winked, in true Brooke Davis fashion.

A few minutes later the doorbell rang, signaling the boys arrival.

"Hey seeexxaay ladies! Come on down, the Timster is here! Ohh, and Jake, Nathan and Lucas!" Tim yelled up the stairs.

"Yuck."

"Ew."

"We'll be down in a few!" Haley, being polite called down as she frowned at the other two girls who were currently giggling.

As the three girls walked gracefully down the massive staircase in the Davis foyer, they were met with four stunned boys. The only reaction they got were open mouthed-wide eyed expressions.

"Looks like we did pretty good, huh ladies." Brooke nudged Haley and Peyton. Jake was the first to speak.

"Peyt, you, you look absolutely gorgeous." Jake spoke sweetly, pulling her into a hug and kissing her cheek.

Brooke sauntered up to Lucas, running her hand seductively down his chest.

"Hey broody, you clean up so very well." She whispered, giving him a quick peck right under his ear, which she knew drives him crazy.

"You look amazing, baby." He responded, pulling her into a searing kiss.

Nathan couldn't take his eyes off Haley. She looked radiant, amazing, sexy, fine, gorgeous, any of those adjectives. Of course she was always beautiful, but tonight…she was practically glowing with beauty. He wanted to tell her that, let her know what kind of effect she has on him, but forming words meant breathing, and he was pretty sure that stopped when he saw her.

"Hey beautiful." He managed to find his voice. His smile grew wider at the site of a rosy blush taking over her cheeks. He loved making her blush; a compliment, a kiss on the cheek, a dirty joke. All of it was to see that scarlet color bloom on her beautiful face. It made her look even sexier, if that was at all possible.

"Hey handsome." Haley responded sweetly. They just stood there in the moment, holding each others gaze.

"Not that this love-fest isn't ohh so adorable, but the Tim doesn't have anyone…so can we leave and get to the club now?" Tim broke in, ruining the moment.

"Ugh, sure. Let's head out." Luke sighed.

"Ohh, one second guys, I forgot one thing." Haley spoke up. She quickly moved over to the mirror by the door and started applying her lip-gloss.

Vanilla, it was her favorite flavor. Sometimes when he would get close enough, Nathan could smell the delicious scent. It always left him utterly intoxicated. Now, as he watched her apply the shiny gloss to her plump lips, he found himself unable to look away. He would give anything to taste those lips, that gloss that made them look even more kissable then they already did. He wanted to nibble and lick her lips until they were swollen and bruised.

"Close your mouth, Natey, you're about to drool." Brooke whispered in his ear.

_BUSTED! Shit, shit, shit! _

"I don't know what you're talking about, Brooke." Nathan bit back sternly.

"Mhm, I'm sure you don't…lover boy"

**_- - - - - - -_**

They arrived at the club about 15 minutes later, and made their way to their usual table.

Since it was the weekend, the club was packed with a mixture of high school kids, college students, and other young adults. The guys went off to talk with a few of their friends and teammates, leaving the girls to talk and dance.

"Hey ladies." A young frat-boy looking guy came up to their table. He was dressed like he just popped out of an Abercrombie and Fitch ad, and seemed cute enough, but in a meathead kind of way. He was a cocky asshole from the looks of it. Haley had seen her fair share of guys that matched this douche bag's look and confidence level. They're all assy frat boys.

His eyes scanned over the girls, not hiding the fact that he was blatantly checking them out. Peyton sent him a disgusted glare, causing him to change his focus on her to Brooke. He gave her a nod, and continued to smirk at her in that 'I'm-undressing-you-in-my-mind-right-now' sort of way.

"You girl, are way fine." His lame ass form of a compliment made Haley chuckle. He ignored her, and kept oogling Brooke.

"Baby, what's your name?" He tried, not noticing Brooke's lack of interest. He reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear, making her jerk away from his touch. _Fucking prick._

"Not interested." Brooke replied flatly, taking another step back.

"Come on Baby, don't be like that." He said in what he probably assumed was a sexy voice, as he grabbed her arm. Out of the corner of her eye, Haley saw Lucas tense up. He was standing about 20 feet away from them, and looked like he was about to kill somebody. The last thing Haley wanted was for him to get in a fight, and get them all kicked out.

Stepping in front of Brooke, Haley spoke in a sickingly sweet voice. "Uhh, what did you say your name was again?"

"I didn't say my name, but it's Brad, sweetie." _Not going to work, fuckhead._

"Oh, well Brad. My friend here, isn't interested. I'm pretty sure she made that clear when she didn't respond to your lame attempts at picking her up." Haley spat out, her tone becoming more bitchier.

"What are you? Her girlfriend? Fucking bitchy dyke." _Oh no, he didn't. _

"Stupid fuc-"

"Before you whip out another clever insult, which I'm sure you will, Brett."

"It's Brad."

"Whatever," Haley spoke bitterly, a little surprised when she felt a pair of strong muscular arms wrap around her waist. _Nathan._ "maybe you should take a look around." She pointed to the boys who had now come back to join them.

"Yeah, didn't see them, didja? Well before this situation gets even uglier than your pathetic strike out, you should probably leave."

He glared at Haley one last time before trudging off, muttering something under his breath.

"That was really sexy," Nathan whispered huskily in her ear, sending chills up her spine. "but next time you go all wonder woman on some punk, make sure I'm around. I don't want you getting hurt." He said, suddenly getting serious.

"Aww don't worry Mr. Scott, I'm a big girl," Haley responded grabbing onto his arm. "let's go dance."

**_- - - - - - -_**

They had been at trick for about two hours now. The girls had managed to get the boys to dance with them most of the night. But as of right now they were taking a much-needed rest. They had started to talk about their upcoming basketball game, but Nathan's attention was still focused on certain blonde.

She was dancing with the other two girls. The other two were attractive, there was no denying that. But Haley's beauty over shined theirs every time. The song they were dancing to ended, and a slower rhythm came out through the club's speakers. Nathan watched as Haley closed her eyes and swayed to the music. Her hips moved back and forth in the most enticing way. She didn't dance sluty, no, she was sexy and graceful. Her body moved in time with the beat of the song. She pulled her hair over one shoulder, obviously getting overheated. That was all Nathan needed and he was up and out of his seat, making his way around some other couples and dancers to his destination.

Her eyes were still closed as his hands reached out and gently gripped her hips, he began to synchronize his movements with hers. Her eyes fluttered open, brown locking onto blue. Slowly her hands traveled up his forearms, over his muscular biceps, around his shoulders and grasped his neck, scratching lightly on the short hairs there. His eyes closed, enjoying the feel of her hands on him. He reopened his eyes, gazing back into Haley's. Something was different about them, something that he hadn't noticed until now. Lust. They were full of lust and longing. But any thoughts he had were gone in a second when Haley slowly licked her lips. Before he knew what he was doing he began to lean closer to her, and much to his surprise, and delight, Haley started leaning closer too. He could feel her breath on his cheek, and the smell of her lip-gloss was provoking him in the sweetest of ways.

"Haley were going t - "

The sudden interruption had them breaking apart awkwardly. Haley looked at Brooke and Peyton angrily. _Stupid tramps, they are so going to pay. _Nathan was obviously uncomfortable with the situation; he was looking at just about anything besides Haley.

"Shit, uhh we didn't mean to interrupt." Peyton apologized. "We were just going to tell you that we're going to go get some drinks and take a break."

An awkward silence fell amongst them.

"Oh. Well…I'm going to go to the ladies room." Haley said quickly before walking off.

"We are so sorry Nate." Brooke smiled apologetically.

"For what…it's not like anything was going to happen." Nathan said, void of any emotion before walking off.

**_- - - - - - -_**

Haley walked swiftly towards the restroom, swatting at the tears that were making their way slowly down her cheeks. Why the hell was she crying? Oh that's right. She almost kissed her best friend, whom she's madly in love with. And when he finally realizes what he's about to do he jumps back like she's infested with cooties. _God, I'm such a fool. _She brushed past a few girls coming out into the bathroom and made her way in, leaning against the counter. How is she supposed to face him after that? His 'little sister' almost kissed him.

"GAH!" Haley bit out, frustrated.

"Well, well, well. Look who we have here, Miss Bitchy herself." The voice slurred.

Haley jumped back, startled by the voice. She turned towards the door to see Brad, the asshole from earlier coming into the bathroom. He stumbled a bit, and judging by his slurred speech he was more than a little drunk. _This isn't good._ _Why is he coming into the girls bathroom? _Haley was beginning to get scared. She needed to get out before this situation turned bad. She walked towards the door, trying to edge her way around him. But before she could reach for the knob he shoved her hard against the back wall. Her head came in contact with the tile with a loud thud, causing her to let out a painful cry. Her vision started to blur as she slid down the wall to the floor. She could feel something dripping on her shoulder, running down her chest and soaking into her dress, staining her skin a dark crimson. The last thing she remembered before everything went black was Brad locking the door.

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**DUN DUN DUN! Review, and I'll get the next chapter up within the next day or two! **


	5. Some You Give Away

**You guys are awesome! Honestly, your reviews make this soo much more enjoyable. Thank you, all of you, you're great, really. But anyways, I go through this type of writers block. I dont know, sometimes all my creativity will just come out, and other times I'm not even sure I could force it out. So that's the reason for my crappy updating-on-time skills.  
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**A/N: This part is chapter is short, yes I know. There is a reason for my madness. It's mostly to build your anticipation for what will happen next. But anyways, read, review, enjoy.**

**Ohh, and this chapter is somewhat graphic. Just a warning...**

**Disclamer: I own nothing. Notta.**_**  
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**So I Decided To Give Myself A Reason **

**5. Some You Give Away**

_**  
What the hell had just happened? **_

"_Haley were going t - "_

"_Shit, uhh we didn't mean to interrupt." Peyton apologized. "We were just going to tell you that we're going to go get some drinks and take a break." _

_**Ohh, that's right. I was about to kiss Haley. Haley James. The same girl I've been in love with for ten years. Ten years. Ever since she shoved Tommy Jones on his ass for picking on me in third grade.**_

"_Oh. Well…I'm going to go to the ladies room." Haley said quickly before walking off._

_**Great, I freaked her out so much she had to run off to the restroom. Good job, Nathan**._

"_We are so sorry Nate." Brooke smiled apologetically._

_**Yeah, me too.**_

"_For what…it's not like anything was going to happen." Nathan said, void of any emotion before walking off. _

He let his mind wander back to their almost kiss. The tingly surges of electricity that coursed through his body as she stroked the hairs on the back of his neck, the thought of it now made him shiver. Their touches always sent electricity pumping through his body, but tonight it seemed as if every nerve ending was sparking at her touch. The feel of her sweet breath on his face, and the sensations of her warm body pressed tightly to his. The look of pure lust that mixed in with the dark brown of her beautiful eyes. Both of them leaning in... - _Whoa, hold the phone! She leaned in too. This wasn't just me, she wanted it. She wanted this, I could tell by the look in her eyes. The want and longing that showed through was visible enough a blind man could have fucking seen it. Damn, Peyton and Brooke._

So here he was now: sitting back at their table with Lucas, Jake, and Tim. Judging by the nervous sideways glances and the awkward silence, they had witnessed the entire exchange between him and Haley. _Wow, I wonder if I have any pride or dignity left._ Nathan looked up to see Peyton and Brooke walking cautiously towards the table, wearing the same guilty expressions from earlier. Nathan turned away, trying to escape the hushed whispers and the not so subtle looks he was receiving. His eyes wandered around the club, scanning over the couples, some guy with horrible dance moves, a few drunk fat guys who were throwing pretzels at each other, and finally landing on a distressed looking woman. She was knocking furiously on the bathroom door. The women's bathroom. Where Haley had gone into only a few minutes ago.

"What the hell?" Nathan wondered out loud.

"What man?" Jake questioned.

"Haley said she had to go to the bathroom, right?" Nathan asked, turning to Brooke and Peyton. They glanced at each other nervously, remembering Haley's discomfort after their interruption.

"Uh, yeah. Why?" Peyton responded somewhat confused.

Without speaking another word, Nathan was out of his chair, practically jogging towards the restroom. They all looked at each other before getting up to follow Nathan. He reached the woman in a matter of seconds.

"Uh, Miss, what's wrong?" Nathan asked the distressed looking woman.

"The bathroom door, it's locked. The - there's a woman in there, with another man. I saw him follow her in there. I just thought that maybe they were hooking up, until I heard a scream." The woman revealed.

By then the others had gathered around the door behind Nathan.

"Nathan, Haley's in there."

"No, she, she can't be, it can't be he -" Before he was able to finish his sentence, he heard something. A sound, one that brought a memory back that had and would surely continue to haunt him for the rest of his days. The thought of it now still sends a chill straight to his bones. The sudden rush of déjà vu that crept through his system threatened to make him physically sick, this feeling was all too familiar. One he had never wanted to feel again.

"NATHAN!"

**_- - - - - - -_**

_It was a crisp winter day, the kind of bitter cold that sent your breath out in clouds of white through chattering teeth. Nathan, his family, and his best friend Haley were vacationing up north in the Scott family cabin. Something about the way the snow glittered and fell from the sky like diamonds enticed 13 year-old Haley James. She didn't pay any mind to the freezing temperatures; she wanted to be out amidst all of the beauty. After very little pleading, Haley had managed to convince Nathan to join her. He learned early on that Haley had a certain hold on him; it just wasn't in his power to refuse her. After bundling up, they went outside into the chilling wind. Regardless of the bitter conditions, Haley never looked happier. She was spinning in circles, trying to catch the tiny snowflakes on her tongue. While watching her, Nathan could feel her hold on his heart become stronger as he fell further in love with her. He loved seeing her this carefree, but he had this nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach. Something wasn't right. His worries were wiped away as soon as he felt a handful of snow come in contact with his face, eliciting the sweetest giggles from the girl who threw it. He quickly picked up his own handful of snow and began chasing her. _

_He finally managed to catch up to her. A twisted root from a nearby tree made him trip, tackling Haley in the process. They laughed at his clumsiness as he laid on top of her. Her cheeks and nose were rosy from the biting chill that surrounded them. Slowly he reached up a glove-covered hand and tenderly pushed away a few stray hairs from her forehead. This made her smile so brightly it was nearly contagious, as he found himself wearing a matching grin. She sat up quickly, catching his lips with hers. Nathan was shocked at first, but when his brain was finally registering what was happening, she hurried off, but not before planting a snowball square in his face. The two ran back and forth, diving behind trees trying to dodge the other's flying snowballs. After hiding for a little while, it got quiet, an eerie quiet. _

_The silence and the calm didn't feel relaxing; no it was more disturbing than peaceful. Like the-calm-before-the-storm type of feeling. Nathan called out for Haley, receiving nothing but silence. He was starting to get concerned. His pace quickened as his calls became more frantic. He could feel his heart pounding, thumping so hard he was sure it would pop right out of his chest. This wasn't right, it didn't feel right. He needed to find her. Why couldn't he find her? Almost like someone up above had been listening to his thoughts, he saw her. She was standing about 20 yards away in the middle of a clearing, the most angelic smile gracing her features. He was so relieved, he was sure his legs would give out, making him fall to his knees. Nathan watched as she took a step towards him, causing a cracking noise that startled them both. Haley looked up, her eyes full of terror and realization - she was standing on frozen water. He could see her tense up, trying to keep her balance as ice below her began to splinter and break. Time moved in slow motion as the fragments of ice that were supporting her broke off, dropping her body in the frigid water below. _

"_NATHAN!"_

_Nathan felt like the air had been knocked out of him. Her arms were flailing as she dipped below the surface, coming back up soaked in the icy liquid, trying unsuccessfully to fill her lungs with oxygen. The bloodcurdling image of her head sinking beneath the surface would scar him forever. _

She awoke with a jolt, pain shooting through her skull like miniature bullets. She blinked a few times, her vision trying to adjust to the light. She groaned, feeling the blood drenched tiles underneath her. The feel of warm breath on her face made her shudder as the burning scent of alcohol flooded her senses. Her body ached as something heavy pressed against it. Not something, someone. She opened her eyes fully to see Brad hovering over her. Her eyes quickly scanned her body, noting that her dress was still intact. She looked at Brad; his sick smirk almost made her vomit. That's when she noticed it. His hands were working on the zipper of his pants. He was planning on raping her. Instinctively her knee came up swiftly and landing with force in between his legs. He rolled off of her, groaning in pain. Haley attempted to get up, but an excruciating pain coursed through her body.

"Stupid bitch!" Brad shouted.

Haley rolled over, trying with all of her might to crawl towards the door.

"Oh no! You're not going anywhere!" He seethed in a sick, menacing tone as he grabbed a handful of her hair, yanking her backwards.

"Ahhh!" Haley yelped in pain.

He grabbed her by the wrists, pinning her to the floor as he climbed on top of her. Haley struggled against him as salty tears began blurring her vision.

"Help!" She tried to scream, but Brad was quick to muffle her calls sobs with his hand.

"You scream again and I'll kill you." He whispered as he licked a path from her neck to her ear. She did the only thing she could think of…biting down as hard as she could on his hand, she managed to shove him off of her as he held his now bleeding hand to his chest. Then she heard it, _his_ voice. The same voice she could sit for hours and listen to. He would rattle off basketball stats, or talk to her about silly things or her music, and she would let herself get lost, sink into his warm sexy voice that she loved so much.

"No, she, she can't be, it can't be he -"

"NATHAN!" She screamed as loud as she could. Brad was quick to respond as he got up, stumbling a bit since he was obviously drunk.

"You're going to wish you didn't do that…" He slurred. Before Haley could react, he landed a powerful kick to her side. A painful cry escaped her lips as she scratched at the tile on the floor, her tears falling freely now, causing her to cough and sputter. The pain was unbearable, one or more of her ribs here definitely broken. She heard someone calling her name, but all of the sounds were drowned out as Brad forcefully put his hands around her neck. She clawed at his hands, but they only seemed to tighten their grip on her throat. She could feel the last of the air in her lungs dissipate as the fight inside of her began to die. Her vision started to darken, for the second time that night. Her hands slowly fell to her sides, as she gave up. The last image to flash in her mind before she felt everything slip away was his beautiful face. Nathan Scott. Her Nathan.

And just like that, some you give away.

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**Review!**


	6. Wonderwall

**You guys don't know how sorry I am! I feel so bad, you're all such amazing reviewers, and I took forever to update. I've had so many tests recently and other stuff going on. But here it is, finally! Thank you so much. I love that you guys like this story. Anywho, I rewrote this chapter...I don't know how many times. It's pretty important so I wanted to get it as perfect as I could. I'm still not 100 happy with it, but still...tell me what you think. Well I hope that you guys havent totally lost all faith in me! Ohh and I made a few references to the show..little parts or whatever. So thank you to whoever writes for OTH (Mark? Ehh, I dont know) **

**Song - Wonderwall - Oasis**

**Disclaimer - Yadda yadda, I OWN NOTHIN.****

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**So I Decided To Give Myself A Reason**

**6. Wonderwall**

There are moments in life that mark a change; times of joy and happiness, and the few periods of sorrow and misfortune. These events act as catalysts that can eventually lead to much better things, or are a sign of worse to come. It can be a subtle difference, or an abrupt change. Good or bad, you can feel it seep into your bones, affecting your world. If it be the worse of the two, it shifts stability; the safe reality you've built slips right out from beneath you. This is one of those moments. The air takes on a dreadful aching and you try with all of your might to not inhale the sickening feeling, not allowing it to wound you that much more. This event can push you in one of two directions: a dark path you don't want to follow or back to safety you've always known. The simple changes of color in the leaves during fall, or the screeching halt of reality as you know it. Whether this change is for the better, or a matter of life and death is left to the hands of fate. As far as positive changes go, this is definitely not one of them. All who are involved will be lucky to leave unscathed.

_**- - - - - - -**_

_Watching her struggling form sink below the icy water caused something in him to break. Whether or not it was his rapidly beating heart, or the twigs on the ground as he began to sprint towards her, he's still unsure of today. _

_Everything was still moving in a cinematic type of slow motion as his feet carried him as fast as he could around the frozen pond. Like earlier, his shouts of her name left his mouth in a frantic cry, surrounded by puffs of white. As he neared the dark spot of water amidst all of the white snow and broken ice, he lost his footing - sending him sliding near the hole. He let out a string of various cuss words, mad at himself for wasting time. Standing up quickly, Nathan didn't even think twice before diving into the icy water after her. Instantly, the coldness of the water hit him like a thousand needles to his skin as the effects of hypothermia were quickly setting in. If he didn't hurry Haley would die, and so would he. He saw her floating a few feet way from him, lifeless. Nathan latched onto her wrist, and pulled her body to him as he swam back to the opening in the ice. With what strength he had left that hadn't already been frozen away by the icy water, Nathan pulled himself and Haley out of the hole, feeling his body quake as the cold wind hit his damp skin. He eased her body towards the side of the pond and off the ice. _

_Her skin was a ghostly white, a pale contrast to the normal honey color. The rosy full lips that he loved so much were now turning a light blue. He tried to speak, her name coming out in desperate whispers as he cupped her face in his hands. His whole body was shaking as he began to do CPR. Tears formed in his eyes, stinging them as they began to freeze in the frigid wind. He let out a sob, as she didn't respond to his attempts for the third time. Lifting her to him he hugged her body tightly as he cried into her icy strands of hair. _

_Nathan could sense the change in the wind, as it blew the pieces of his shattered heart about. He could feel the life inside of him slip out and freeze into clouds as his sobs continued. Nothing would ever be the same; he knew that, as he felt himself dying along with the girl that he clung to._

_**- - - - - - -**_

The lump that had been growing in his throat seemed to grow the size of a boulder as her scream echoed in his ears. It's almost like something clicked inside of him. Instinctively, he began ramming his shoulder against the door as hard as he could.

"Haley! Haley!" He could faintly hear Brooke and Peyton screaming her name, as he continued to try and open the door. Everything around him seemed to blur, besides the task at hand. He had to get that door open; he _needed_ to get that door open. He had to prove to the others that Haley was safe, that she was on the other side of this damn door unhurt. As the thoughts ran through his head, he knew it was a false hope. She was in there, and she needed him, no matter what his brain was trying to tell him. He made a promise long ago, and he sure as hell was going to keep it.

"Nathan, stop! You're going to hurt yourself!" Jake and Tim pulled him back, as he struggled to get free of their hold on his arms. _Didn't they understand? He had to get to Haley_. He gave Tim a hard shove, sending him sprawling to the ground with a thud, as he turned around to see Lucas step back and kick the door open with impressive force. He pushed past Lucas and into the bathroom.

There was a large smear of blood on the far wall, staining the ivory tiles, and a matching puddle on the floor near Haley. Some guy was on top of her, with his hands around her neck, as she lay beneath him, unmoving. Nathan sprung forth and ripped Brad from Haley and shoved him against the wall. His hand came up to the grasp him around the neck as he landed punch after punch to Brad's face. Crack, the noise of Brad's nose breaking echoed through the small bathroom. He hurt Haley, and Nathan was going to make sure he paid.

"You bastard!" He shouted as he choked the guy while punching him repeatedly.

Brad was groaning in pain as each hit to his jaw sent his head snapping left and right. Blood from his nose and his mouth dribbled down Nathan's fist, and created small splatters on the wall next to his head.

Lucas had gone straight to Haley, pulling her body away from the fighting as gently as he could. She was in bad shape, and he wanted to make sure he didn't hurt her more than she already was. Tears stung his eyes as he took in her broken appearance. The girl who had been one of his best friends from day one, seemed to be dying in his arms. He could feel his hands begin to shake as the blood that clung to her strands of hair rubbed off onto his palms. He couldn't let this happen, she had to survive. He needed her, they all needed her - Nathan needed her.

"Haley! C'mon Haley, wake up! Please wake up!" He stroked her cheek as he laid her head in his lap.

Her state of unconsciousness and the amount of blood on the floor was making him panic. Brooke and Peyton were kneeling beside her; Peyton was gripping her limp hand and rubbing her arm gently. Both of the girls were crying uncontrollably at this point. They were both thinking the same thing as they watched Lucas' feeble attempts of waking Haley. They shouldn't have left her alone. Their cries continued as the guilt of the situation clouded their thoughts.

"Haley, sweetie, please wake up, please!" Peyton pleaded. Brooke was sobbing, as she began to wipe the blood from her unconscious friend, trying to remove the crimson stains.

By now, Nathan had thrown Brad to the floor and continued to bloody his face with his angry punches.

"Nathan, stop man! You're going to kill him!" Jake reasoned as he tried to pull Nathan from Brad.

Nathan turned towards Jake, missing the metal object Brad pulled out of his pocket. Light reflected off of its shiny surface and caught Jake's attention. "No!" he yelled, but it was too late. In one swift motion, Brad had thrust the knife into Nathan's upper arm.

"Ahh Fuck!" Nathan shouted, grabbing his arm as he fell back onto Jake.

Brad quickly scrambled to his feet only to get tackled from behind by Tim. Nathan pulled the knife out of his now bleeding arm, grunting in pain. He tossed it aside as he landed a punch square to Brad's jaw with his good arm.

"You son of a bitch!" Nathan leaned forward, ready to attack Brad again. Jake grabbed him by the arms, making sure not to touch his wound.

"Nathan, quit! If you keep this up, he'll die!" Jake, always being the voice of reason – tried again. He understood that Nathan was angry, hell, he was furious too. Haley meant a lot to him, and seeing her battered body was an image he knew he'd never forget.

"I don't care, I hope the fucker dies! He tried to kill Haley! Goddamnit he might have!" Nathan screamed angrily, her lifeless body flashing before his eyes. He hit Brad a few more times before Jake successfully pulled him away. Tim stepped towards Brad and kicked him in the gut a few times, shouting various obscenities at him. Brad rolled onto his side, coughing up blood and groaning in pain.

"Nathan!" He heard the strangled cry from Brooke. He turned towards them and saw Haley's eyes flutter. She moaned in pain as she slowly regained consciousness. Nathan ran to her, slipping a little on the smeared blood that covered the floor. He kneeled in front of her, stroking her hair out of her face.

"Haley? Haley, baby, say something…please say something." He pleaded desperately. Nathan felt his eyes burn with tears as Lucas gently helped her sit all of the way up. She grunted in pain, touching her side as her own tears began to slide down her cheeks mixing with the smudged blood and makeup. She stared at him, letting the tears flow freely as she pulled him to her, a sob escaping her mouth as she pushed her face against his chest. He held her tightly, stroking her hair, only releasing her a little bit as she gasped in pain.

"I was so afraid that I lost you," he whispered as he placed kisses in her hair, her forehead, and her cheeks. "God, I was so scared." He looked into her eyes as he continued to stroke the hair out of her face.

She noticed the circle of blood that was growing on his sleeve, her eyes growing wide with worry. "Nathan, you, you're bleeding." She croaked out in a hoarse whisper from the pain that was coursing through her neck.

"It's nothing. All that matters is that you're awake." He told her honestly, gazing into her tear filled eyes with watery ones of his own. She was lying here, beaten and broken; yet she still worried about him. His wound might as well have been a paper cut compared to hers.

"I love you Nathan, I love you so much, but you, you could have died – it wasn't safe." Haley choked out.

"I love you too baby, but I, I don't want to be safe without you." Nathan whispered back, holding Haley tightly to his chest. He was afraid to let go of her. He held her as if life itself depended on it, and to him – it did. He didn't even want to think about what would have happened to her if he had wasted anymore time getting into the bathroom. The others sat around the two, thanking whatever god there was that Haley was okay. Well she definitely wasn't okay, not physically or mentally. But she was alive, and that's all that mattered. Nathan and Haley rocked gently back and forth as she cried into his chest. The sounds of the newly formed crowed, the shouts of the police, and the faint wailing of the sirens all faded out.

_**- - - - - - -**_

_He lost her. She was gone, and it was his fault. _

_The muffled sounds of coughing that vibrated against his shoulder, made all of the air in his lungs whoosh out in one quick huff for the second time that day. He pulled back slowly, wondering if his mind was playing an evil trick on him. He was greeted with the sweetest honey brown eyes he'd ever seen. She was alive – his Haley was alive._

"_Haley?! Oh my god…" A new batch of tears rolled down his cheeks as he hugged her to him with every bit of energy he had in him. He felt her arms come up and wrap around him, as she continued to cough – trying to get air in her lungs. _

"_I thought you were dead. You, you weren't moving or breathing. I tried CPR, but, but you just wouldn't move," He said as he gazed into her eyes that were beginning to tear up. "God, I can't believe your okay." He hugged her to him again; making sure this wasn't just a dream. To wake up and find her body lying beside him, every ounce of her life slipping away as each minute passed, would be the cruelest of fates. _

_Haley noticed his chattering teeth and his soaked figure. "You, you went in after me? Nathan, why would you do that? You could have died." Tears flowed their way down her cheeks. The fact that she almost died didn't matter, Nathan's safety did. For as long as she could remember it had always been about him - his well being before hers, his happiness, and his problems. It was always him. _

"_You could have too. Haley, you're my best friend. I'm nothing without you. I wasn't going to stand by and watch you die," Nathan felt more tears coming on. Normally he would feel like a pansy for crying, but he didn't care right now. "I promise you, no matter what – I'm going to be there for you. I promise to protect you. I love you Haley."_

_A sob escaped Haley's throat as she pulled him by his shoulders to her, crying into the crook of his neck. "I love you too, Nathan." She mumbled out as she continued to cry. Nathan inhaled deeply, breathing in the pain and the aching that seemed to surround them. To his surprise, he felt nothing; numbness he was more than thankful for. The only thing he could feel was the renewed warmth of the girl he loved radiating onto his body and into his heart. _

_Wind blew through the tops of the trees as the clouds began to sprinkle large snowflakes around the two. They huddled together, never letting the other one go as the tears dried up. This day marked a change, a moment neither would forget. Instead of almost losing a life, one was gained – their life, together. A promise was made, which was later kept. A friendship remained strong, as a love so powerful filled the two teenagers._

_**- - - - - - -**_

The cops had arrived soon after. The seven friends gave their statements, as they arrested Brad. When they were slapping the handcuffs on him, he made a comment about Haley, saying 'the bitch deserved it'. Before Nathan could react, Jake's fist connected to Brad's already bloodied jaw. Thankfully, the police didn't even care as they hauled his sorry ass out of the club. The paramedics came in next, loading Haley onto a stretcher. Nathan walked along it, holding her hand the entire way. Brooke followed after, the guilt of the situation resting heavily down on her shoulders. Peyton, Jake and Tim were trying to convince Brooke that it wasn't her fault. Lucas took up the end. It was like he was in a daze, his feet carried him as he followed behind the others, but he couldn't get the image of Haley's battered body out of his mind. He couldn't imagine his life without her. She was his rock, always there when he needed her. The late night talks they shared, staying up until the early morning just chatting about life. The days they spent together in his room. Lucas would be reading one of his novels, and Haley would lie there reading her magazines, occasionally quizzing him. The countless times Nathan and him roped Haley into playing video games with them. She was there, an everyday part of his life. He couldn't imagine losing that.

Nathan rode in the ambulance with Haley, as the others followed in Luke's black Escalade. He stayed quiet, not wanting to disturb the paramedics. They were rushing around the small ambulance, checking her vitals and inspecting her injuries. Nathan longed to touch her face, to look into her beautiful eyes that were now closed. She fainted in the middle of giving her statement; Nathan barely caught her before she hit the ground. For the second time that night he thought he lost her. He continued to stare at her delicate face; the porcelain skin that was now marred with scrapes, dark bruises and smeared blood. He wished she would just wake up, and flash that beautiful smile he loved so much. They would forget all of this ever happened and just move on. If only it were that simple…

Once they arrived at the hospital, they wheeled Haley into a room to examine her. One of the paramedics noticed Nathan's bleeding arm, and escorted him into another room to get checked out. Nathan tried to argue, saying he needed to wait for Haley. The paramedic gave him a sad smile before telling him he had to get cleaned up and get some stitches before it got infected. He finally relented, telling them to hurry so he could return to the waiting room.

Nathan entered the waiting room a little later, a look of concern masking his face.

"Have you gotten any news about Haley?" Nathan asked Luke. Luke turned to Brooke, and unwrapped his arm from her shoulders, kissing her temple before he stood up.

"No, the doctor hasn't come out ye-" an older looking man who was dressed in a white overcoat cut him off. He had thin-wired glasses that rested on his large nose, and a salt and pepper beard that matched his scruffy hair.

"Are you all here for Haley James?" He questioned in a deep voice.

Lucas looked at Nathan, who was staring off like he was in a trance, so Lucas spoke up.

"Yes, yes sir we are."

"Well my name's Dr. Goldstein, are her parents here?" The doctor looked around the room, only seeing a few exhausted looking teenagers.

Seeing that Nathan wasn't about to respond, Lucas turned to the doctor. "Uhm no, sir. Her parents are out of town until Tuesday. But we're her best friends." Lucas said, referring to himself and the others. "How…how is she doing?"

Dr. Goldstein scratched at his unruly beard. "Well Miss James seems to be doing fine now. She has suffered from a mild concussion. There's a small gash on the back of her head," He said, gesturing to the back of his own. "We cleaned her up, and stapled the wound shut. She'll have to come back in a few weeks to get those removed. She also has a few fractured ribs. Luckily, they didn't puncture any of her vital organs. She will have some trouble breathing for the time being, but that's normal. She also has a few cuts and scrapes here and there, and some pretty bad bruising, but other than that she'll be fine. We've given her a prescription pain medication for her head and her ribs. She should take two pills every 5 hours. Oh, and applying a covered ice pack to her head and her ribs might relieve some of the pain." The doctor finished. He took a step forward and pulled his glasses down to look at Nathan's arm.

"How are those stitches holding up, son?" He questioned, pulling his glasses back up in regular position.

"When, when can I. When can we see her?" Nathan spoke for the first time, not answering the doctor's question.

"Actually, she's free to go. We'll bring her out in a little bit. And fair warning, she's a little out of it from the pain meds. But considering what she's gone through tonight, that's probably a good thing." The doctor gave the two boys a sympathetic smile.

"Thank you Dr. Goldstein." Lucas responded politely, shaking the older man's hand. The doctor turned to Nathan, and shook his hand before walking off.

A few minutes later, a nurse dressed in light blue scrubs pushed a wheelchair out that held a drowsy looking Haley. Her eyes were half shut as her head leaned to the left a little bit. She had one of the hospital blankets wrapped around her, and her hair was somewhat damp, from one of the nurses washing the blood out of it. The cuts on her face were cleaned up, as well as the blood. Nathan could make out the faint black lines of the criss-crossing stitches on her forehead. The nurse, who looked to be at least in her forties, wheeled her up in front of the brothers.

"You boys here for Haley James?" She asked the two Scott boys politely. The others jumped from their chairs and stood behind Nathan and Lucas, trying to see Haley.

"Yes ma'am. We are." Lucas answered. He turned his attention to Nathan, who stood there completely still as he stared at Haley. The love and worry that shown through his eyes and rested on Haley was stronger then ever. Nathan bent down slowly, taking hold of Haley's hand that lay limply in her lap, his thumb rubbing softly over her knuckles. Her eyes fluttered open some, the pain medication definitely taking its toll on her system.

"Hi," She whispered softly, the corners of her mouth curving upwards slightly.

"Hey baby…" Nathan spoke just as quietly as she had. He laid her hand back in her lap, and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. Haley's eyes shut again, enjoying the feel of his lips on her skin. Nathan stood up and thanked the nurse. She nodded before disappearing behind the E.R. doors.

Jake had gone out and pulled the vehicle around to the entrance of the emergency room, while Lucas took care of the release papers. Peyton wheeled Haley out by the car slowly, followed by the others. Jake and Tim climbed into the far back, as Brooke and Peyton got into the middle seat. Nathan eased one of his arms under Haley's knees, and the other behind her back as he gently lifted her from the wheelchair. He laid her across the seat, resting her head in Brooke's lap as he adjusted the blanket that stretched across her. More tears clouded Brooke's vision as she lovingly began to run her fingers through Haley's hair. Peyton noticed her friend on the verge of a breakdown and wrapped her arm around her, giving her a side hug. Shutting the door softly, Nathan climbed into the passenger seat as he turned to check on Haley again. Lucas lugged himself into the driver's seat with a thud as he turned to Nathan before starting the engine.

"She'll be alright, Nate. You got to her just in time. Everything's okay now." Lucas told his brother, trying to reassure him. Nathan nodded and turned his head to look out the window as they exited the hospital parking lot, that familiar feeling taking over. Change. A word and a feeling Nathan had long ago declared his hate for. Things were changing again, and as much as he wished he could stop it, he knew it was inevitable.

**- - - - - - -**

They had arrived at the James' residence, to find the house empty and dark. Haley had many siblings, but they were all grown and scattered around the U.S. Her parents loved having an 'almost-empty-nest' but they missed their children dearly, and frequently took trips to visit them. The girls helped Haley walk up to the porch, being as careful as possible not to hurt her. Nathan used his spare key to open the door, the one he was given many years ago; Jimmy and Lydia's attempt to stop him from using Haley's window. They walked into the house and into the James' living room, where the girls eased Haley into her father's big comfy chair.

"I'm going to go call Lydia and Jimmy." Lucas told Nathan before walking into the kitchen. Jake went up to Peyton and wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"She's going to need her rest, how about we come back and visit her in the morning?" Jake questioned as he rubbed her arm. Peyton only nodded before walking over to the lost looking girl.

"Haley sweetie, me and Jake are going to leave. But we'll be back earl - early tomorrow morning. Okay?" Peyton questioned, choking up a little. Haley nodded and smiled a bit as Peyton leaned forward and hugged her gently before kissing the top of her head. The two made their way towards the front door, followed by Tim with promises of coming by tomorrow.

Nathan turned to Brooke. "I'm going to go get her an ice pack, watch her please." He requested before looking back at Haley. He motioned his head towards the kitchen, letting her know where he'd be. She nodded before looking back at Brooke.

"I, I want to go upstairs."

_**- - - - - - -**_

"I just got off the phone with Lydia. She said that they'd be home as soon as possible, and that she wants us to watch over Haley until then." Lucas told Nathan, returning the phone to its stand.

"Where are they at now? Maine with Vivian? She had her baby last week." Nathan said, opening the freezer and grabbing two ice trays. He busied himself with constructing a few homemade icepacks, wishing away the broken and bloody image of Haley; a picture he knew would haunt his dreams for the rest of his life.

"Actually, they're in Dallas with Jason." Lucas said, picking at something on the counter, before brushing his hand across the smooth surface. He looked over to Nathan; his hands were visibly shaking as he tried to get the ice into the bag.

"Man, you need to stop worrying. She's fine now." Lucas tried to reason with his brother, as he took the ice trays from him to help out.

Nathan grunted in frustration. "You don't get it Lucas, I can't just stop worrying about it. She could have died, Luke! I actually thought she was dead! I never want to feel that way again. I can't lose her man, I, I just can't. She means too much to me." Nathan finished as he ran his hands over his face. "I…I love her too much." Nathan revealed as he looked away from Lucas. He's told Haley he loved her before, plenty of times, knowing she'd take it in a friendly way. But it was so much more than that.

"I know Nate, she's my best friend to-"

"No Lucas, I love her…like - I'm in love with her." Nathan clarified.

Lucas stood there, a little stunned. Of course, he had known that for years now, it was completely obvious. The way Nathan put Haley before himself, the way he'd stare at her so lovingly when he thought no one else was watching, or how his face lit up at the slightest mention of her name. Anything to do with Haley made Nathan happy. So maybe this wasn't as surprising as Lucas thought.

"Oh…well yeah." Lucas said, a little unsure of what to say.

"…What?" Nathan asked a little confused. He just confessed his love for Haley, and the only response he got from his brother was "Oh, well yeah?"

"I mean, it's pretty obvious man." Lucas shrugged his shoulders slightly. "But you can't let this get you down. Like you said, she may have died…but she didn't. She's alive and her wounds will heal. That is what's important." Lucas said, patting Nathan's shoulder.

Nathan simply nodded. Lucas was right, she was alive and he didn't lose her. So why did he feel this way? There was this nagging feeling at the pit of his stomach, and it felt like there was a permanent lump in his throat. It felt like something bad was going to happen. But didn't something bad already happen? This feeling was confusing and he wished more than anything for it to go away.

"Maybe," Lucas paused, unsure of whether or not to continue. He looked up and saw Nathan waiting for him to go on. He sighed deeply. "Maybe this is a sign, you know? Maybe this was supposed to happen." Lucas tried.

"What the hell are you talking about Lucas?" Nathan asked, more than a little confused.

"Well it's a possibility that this was supposed to happen…like fate. Granted, Haley almost died, but it could have been a sign for you two to start living."

Before Nathan could respond, Brooke walked in. She was hugging herself as she sniffled a bit, her hand coming up to wipe at her nose. She was a mess; her normaly perfect hair was now disheveled and messy. Her makeup was smudged in the tear tracks that lined her face.

Brooke noticed their confused gazes. "She said she wanted to go upstairs…she's in her room." Brooke clarified. Nathan nodded before turning around to seal up the icepacks.

"You guys can sleep in the living room or the den. I'm going to go check on Haley."

Nathan shifted the icepacks back and forth in his hands before making his way out of the room, giving Brooke a hug on the way.

"Hey Pretty girl, why are you crying?" Lucas asked as he made his way around the counter island to his now crying girlfriend.

"I, I feel so bad for what happened, Luke. I should have been there with her. I saw how uncomfortable she was, I shouldn't have left her alone." Brooke finished, unleashing a sob.

"It's not your fault." Lucas whispered, his hands cupping her cheeks as his thumbs caught her falling tears. Brooke sobbed into his shoulder as she pulled him to her, the tears coming full force yet again.

"It is Lucas, it is. I, I should have gone with her." Brooke blubbered into his shoulder. He pulled back, and cupped her face in his hands again.

"Brooke, listen to me. You can't blame yourself for what happened to Haley. You didn't know it was going to happen, none of us did. Don't let this eat you up inside. And I know for a fact that if you were with her, you would have kicked his ass." Brooke choked out a small laugh. "But I'm glad you weren't." Lucas said seriously. "I don't know what I'd do if he hurt both of you." He told her honestly, before gently kissing her on the lips.

"But sweetie, we have to be strong for her now. She needs us more than ever, alright?"

Brooke nodded, understandingly. "I love you, Lucas."

"I love you too, Pretty Girl."

_**- - - - - - -**_

Nathan walked up the stairs, looking at all of the framed pictures that hung on the wall. There were numerous pictures of Haley and her siblings when they were younger, many that even had him and Lucas in them. As he went further up the stairs, the pictures grew more recent; Haley, Brooke, and Peyton at the beach on the Fourth of July, and one of Haley and Lucas covered in flour after she wrangled him into baking cookies. They were on the floor, huge grins adorning their faces with cookie ingredients plastered all around them. This made Nathan smile, and chuckle a bit. He continued up the stairs a little further. There were a few more of their group posing for pictures after a basketball game, and one of them in the car on their way to Florida. Then Nathan spotted his personal favorite – the picture of Haley and him in her backyard. She was sitting on their old wooden swing in a cute little sundress, while he stood behind her. He was getting ready to push her on the swing, when his mom snapped the picture. They were laughing at Lucas, who isn't in the picture, but had just tripped over a cooler. They were at one of the many famous James Barbecues with the rest of their friends and family. They were so happy and carefree then, a feeling he longed for now. All he really wanted was to see Haley smile, one that didn't look painful and forced.

Breathing in a deep sigh, he continued his journey up the stairs. He walked down the hall towards Haley's bedroom. The door was shut, and all he could see was the white wood and the sign that read 'Haley' in different shades of blue on block letters. Opening the door slowly, he peaked his head inside. The light was off, and the room was empty. Nathan looked around, panicking a little. Noticing the bathroom door that was shut most of the way, light glowing out beneath it and across the carpet, calmed his nerves. He pushed the door all the way open, and set the icepacks on the dresser. His mind wandered back to what Lucas said, as he looked around Haley's room.

"_Well it's a possibility that this was supposed to happen…like fate. Granted, Haley almost died, but it could have been a sign for you two to start living." _

What the hell was that supposed to mean? Nathan shook the thoughts from his head, telling himself that he'd talk to Lucas about it later.

Walking towards the door, Nathan noticed the dress Haley was wearing on the floor near the bathroom.

"Haley…" Nathan called softly, tapping on the door with his knuckles. After receiving no response, he tried again.

"Haley, are you in there?"

"Come in, Nathan." Her voice was weak and full of pain. He nudged the door open slowly, looking back at Haley's dress that was discarded on the floor. He didn't want to go barging in if she was naked.

He felt his throat clench at what he saw next. Haley was sitting in the middle of the bathtub, the water reaching the middle of her back. She had her knees pulled to her chest and her arms were wrapped around her legs, only the side part of her breast was exposed. Nathan took a few more steps into the bathroom, not being able to take his eyes off of her. He didn't mean to stare, but he couldn't help it. His eyes roamed over her body, taking in her bruises. His hands clenched into fists as his eyes traced the purplish colored bruises that were forming on her neck in the shape of a handprint. His gaze lowered slowly, moving over the few spots that were beginning to look dark and discolored. Nathan's eyes finally landed on her side, where her broken ribs were. The black and blue formation on her skin that covered up most of her ribcage on her left side, was causing his blood to boil. He was two seconds away from punching a hole in the wall when her small little voice broke into his thoughts.

"I, I just wanted to wash off. I felt so dirty. All the blood, God there's so much blood." Haley said, referring to the water in the bathtub that was now a pinkish color. He watched as a tear trickled down her face.

Nathan crossed the room in two long strides and kneeled next to the bathtub. "Haley, I'm…I'm so sorry." Nathan told her sincerely, her small form hunched in the water was breaking his heart.

"For what?" Haley turned to look at him, her eyes red from crying. She paused to take a few breaths, cringing at the pain. Regardless, Nathan still thought she was beautiful despite the scrapes and bruises. "You saved me…you're always saving me." Haley said, shaking her a head a little bit.

"I wouldn't have it any other way…" Nathan spoke honestly, a small grin spreading across his face at her attempt at a smile. He saw her shudder a little bit, as faint little bumps formed on her skin. Nathan reached his hand in, pulling it back instantly when it came in contact with the cold water.

"Hales, the water is freezing. Come on, let's get you out." He stood up and retrieved her robe from behind the door. Walking back towards Haley, he stretched out the robe and held it open for her to step into. He turned his head to the side, giving her some privacy as she stepped out of the bathtub and stuck her arms into the robe. She turned to him slowly, tying the robe with her shaking hands.

"Let's get you to bed." He whispered sweetly. Haley nodded slowly as he wrapped his arm around her waist, walking her back into her room and next to her bed. He kicked off his shoes and pulled off his jeans before grabbing the icepacks he had set on the dresser. He went over to her side of the bed and moved the blankets off of her to place one of them gently on her left side. After replacing the covers over her, he instructed her to turn her head so he could rest the ice pack against the stapled wound. She hissed in pain, as the cold came in contact with her scalp. Nathan whispered a string of apologies before he climbed into bed with her. She grabbed the remote off of her nightstand, and hit a few buttons until the sound of her favorite song came through the speakers softly.

"Do you need anything?" Nathan asked in a half whisper as he pulled her closer to him gently. She snuggled into his side, trying to get comfortable before resting her head on his chest.

"No, this is perfect." Those were the last words Haley spoke before letting the sleep that had been tugging at her all evening take over.

Nathan smiled sadly into her hair, kissing it gently. "No, but we'll get back to perfect, I promise."

**_Because maybe, you're gonna be the one who saves me? _**

**_And after all, you're my wonderwall._**

* * *

**How was it? Hit the blue button and pass me some sweet words. Thanks!**


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